The Importance of 仲良し and Coming to Japan Advice

Some of my 仲良し

For me, friends are an essential part of life.  Right up their with air, water, and food.  They are who I want to spend any and all free time with, and they help me to become the person I want to be.  It is not an overstatement to say that I wouldn't be in Japan if it weren't for my friends!  In Japanese society, too, friends are very important.  In Japanese, there's the word "tomodachi" 友達 that is the general word for friend.  But then there's also the word "nakayoshi" 仲良し, which means "close friend".  Let me tell you about how my 仲良し have influenced my life for the better.

I'm going to start off by saying that I only had 2 or 3 friends in high school.  I was pretty much a loner, yet I craved friendship.  Then I moved 2,000 miles away for college and did not know a single soul.  It was time for a fresh start.  And it was time for new friends.  The dorm that I lived in, Xavier Global House, had an overall international theme, and the 3rd floor where I lived was Chinese and Japanese themed.  I eventually ended up living on this floor for 4 years.  Over those 4 years, through the floor theme, I met many Japanese nationals and people interested in Japanese language and culture.  These people eventually became my best friends!!!  They also became a key instrument in my success during my study abroad in Japan in 2008.  For example, without having met my friend Yukari, I wouldn't have been able to get a cell-phone or set up a Suica commuter pass.  Without my friend Liz, I wouldn't have had as much fun as I did.  While there, I made even MORE new friends that are very dear to me, despite only spending 4 months together!!!

Fast-forward to the beginning of this year.  I moved back home to Milwaukee after I graduated to look for a job, etc.  I had a sum total of 1 friend there.  My social life consisted almost entirely of hanging out with my mom (who is awesome, BTW).  I was also working a job that was very stressful for a number of reasons.  In short, I was very unhappy.  I just needed.... more!!!  I needed Japan!  Or so I thought...  It had always been my plan to go back to Japan since I came back from study-abroad.  My original plan after I got my transitional job in Milwaukee was to save up enough money to go to language school in Japan.  Before, I would have been fine going anywhere in Japan.  But then I realized, why go anywhere when I could live with my friends, who all lived in the greater Tokyo area???  I think it finally hit me that the idea of being with my friends was more important than just going to Japan.  With this thought in my head, as well as a spur to action by my friends Caroline Josephine (pictured above in the black hat) and Julie, I decided to look for work instead.  This way, I could have it all: I could be self-sufficient, I could live in the country I love, and, most importantly, I could live near my friends!!!

Now I am here.  I'm almost 75% self-sufficient.  I'm living in an awesome city.  And I have the opportunity to see my friends whenever we are able to!  In the short 2 months that I've been there, I've started back up old friendships, strengthened current friendships, and made brand new ones!!!  I'm loving my life SOOOO much, and it's all thanks to my 仲良し.  I just hope I can be as good a friend to them as they have to me.  Here's to many more years with them.  And here's hoping that many of my state-side friends move here!!!!!  And here's to us, dear reader, potentially becoming friends!!!  If you live in the Tokyo area and wanna meet, I'm totally game!!!  Just drop me a line!!!

COMING TO JAPAN ADVICE:
If you are interested in coming to Japan for whatever reason (study-abroad, work, etc.), my advice to you is to make some connections before you go over.  If your school has an exchange program with any Japanese college or university, become friends with the exchange students from that school first before you go over there.  That way, when you go there, they will be there too and they can assist you if you have trouble.  Also, it's a good idea to go over with any other friends that you have.  If you have a friend in Japanese class that you really like, talk about the possibility of studying abroad together.  This is one of those rare exceptions of a big commitment that will almost always strengthen friendship as opposed to leading to disaster, like living together.  Next, get in good with your Japanese teacher.  9 times out of 10, they still have connections to Japan and can offer you advice as far as living conditions or work opportunities.  Also, they've already had the whole "moving to another country for work/education" experience and can offer you helpful tips for coping with such things.  Plus, they're just really amazing people!!!!

But remember, DO THIS ONLY IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO BE FRIENDS WITH THESE PEOPLE.  Don't do this just so you can have an easier time in Japan.  That's using people.  And that's a terrible thing to do.

OGS: Only Gaijin Syndrome

I AM THE ONLY WHITE PERSON.  PAY ATTENTION TO ME.

So, this post might be a little controversial.  It might rub people the wrong way and might make me seem butt-hurt or whatever.  But these are my "true feelings" on something I've encountered in Japan.  Apologies in advance.  Do not read this if you take yourself too seriously or take me too seriously.  Some of you who know me well may have heard me speak extensively on this subject.  If you have, please, for your sake, just skip this post.

So, from both of my experiences of being in Japan (studying here and working here), I've noticed quite a trend in regards to foreigners in Japan.  It's something that all foreigners exhibit at some point in their stay in Japan.  It's a debilitating disorder known as "Only Gaijin Syndrome" (OGS).

For the unfamiliar, 外人, or "gaijin", is a Japanese word meaning "outsider" which is used as a blanket term for foreigners (although, almost all Japanese are polite and use the term 外国人, or "gaikokujin", which literally means "a person from a foreign country".  Gaijin is used mainly by foreigners themselves nowadays as sort of a "reclaimed word").

OGS refers to the unwarranted sense of self-importance that foreigners feel stemming from the perception that they are the only foreign person in Japan.  They are the only white person who can speak Japanese.  They are the only Westerner who appreciates the taste of natto.  They are the only American who denounces the US's savage ways for the civility and peace of Japanese life.  In other words, they act like self-righteous pricks.

The symptoms of OGS become most apparent when two gaijin pass each other on the street.  Those within the throes of OGS will make painfully obvious attempts to avoid any form of contact or association with the other foreigner, lest they seem weak and unworldly.  They'll take another route from where they're going so they don't have to be next to you.  If they're with a Japanese friend, they'll do their best to speak as loudly in Japanese as possible to show the other gaijin how assimilated they are into Japanese society.  If eye-contact is accidentally made, the OGS sufferer will make a threatening scowl towards the hapless other gaijin as if to say "Get out of here!!!  This town's not big enough for two gaijin!!!".

There are several causes of OGS.  One of the more common root causes is to attract the ever elusive Japanese mate.  People looking to get with a native contract OGS when they feel that the only way to a Japanese person's heart is by showing how exotic and different they are while also totally into and a part of Japanese culture.  This display is accomplished by distancing oneself from all other foreigners, as their equal foreignness will just make the OGS sufferer look less foreign, and therefore less special and attractive.  The other main cause of OGS is the foreigner's neurotic desire to actually become Japanese.  This futile effort starts with them dressing in extreme Japanese fashion styles, getting stereotypically ridiculous J-Pop hair, only watching Japanese TV, and, finally, rejecting all other people of foreign descent from entering their presence, as that will somehow thwart their quest to become "purely" Japanese.  If you live in Japan, avoid these people at all costs, as they'll berate you for your lack of Japanese-ness and assimilation.

While Gaijin with OGS can be found almost anywhere in Japan, there are specific places where sightings are much higher.  The first is in any university's high intermediate or advanced Japanese language classes.  OGS sufferers will often come to the delusion that, because they're very good at speaking Japanese, they are Japanese!  Even though they have many traits in common with their fellow classmates (ex., Japanese speaking ability, delusion that they are actually Japanese, unwarranted sense of self-importance, etc.), they will almost 90% of the time never be friends with their classmates.  Instead, they'll engage in a constant battle of oneupsmanship over their Japanese language ability or how many friends they have on their Mixi page.  The next place you can find typically female OGS sufferers is in the hippest fashion sections of town (for example, in Tokyo, Harajuku or Shibuya).  Here, you'll observe such displays of OGS as foreign girls dying their hair in typical gal fashion colors while wearing a 10 inch thick layer of makeup done up so that their original non-Japanese race is so distorted you cannot tell what planet they hail from.  They will also be wearing an outfit that screams "LOOK AT ME!!!  I'M SUCH A FASHIONABLE JAPANESE GIRL!!!".  Finally, the virtual haven for the pandemic of OGS is non-other than the utterly useless gaijinpot.com forums!  Here, OGS sufferers take avoiding other foreigners to the next level by aggressively posting in ways to convince other foreigners not to come to Japan.  One need only look at a random thread like, let's say, this one, and see that these classic OGS victims have paradoxical minds.  Here, they can be seen convincing a new-comer not to work for an English school because they're horrible and a shitty job and people who work there are assholes, yet they themselves work there.  These advanced cases show that another symptom of OGS is becoming a bitter individual hell-bent on making others suffer in your misery.

While I'll admit that in the past I've suffered from OGS on a couple occasions, through my years of research and countless encounters with OGS-ravaged victims, I've discovered a cure!!!  The first step is saying out loud, "I will never, no matter how hard I try, become Japanese!"  Repeat until you actually believe this yourself.  Next, the OGS sufferer must become self-aware and contemplate how their actions were wrong.  They need to realize how self-righteous they sound when they say they're only in Japan "to study zen" or how ridiculous they look when their hairstyle makes even a host blush or how annoying they are when they refuse to acknowledge and discus English-language shows even if they're well-known in Japan.  In other words, the path to recovery starts by realizing you have a problem.  If you know of anyone who suffers from OGS or suffer from it yourself, please, get help immediately.  Have an intervention.  Help is possible!
--------------------------------
While the above was a little tongue-in-cheek, the sentiments behind it are real.  Bottom-line: many actions that people like this display are borderline racist and ethnocentric.  I often hear complaints from foreigners of Japanese speaking to them in English.  Well, what if that Japanese person wanted to practice their English?  Many foreigners also lump all Japanese together and make them out to be just one type of thing when the reality is that they are all just as different as you and I.  The same thing applies to foreigners lumping everyone in their whole country together as well.  Either way, it needs to stop.  It's fucking annoying and just makes you look like an ass.

The bottom-line is that every society/culture has their good and bad.  America has a lot of faults, but so does Japan.  No place is perfect.  Just be yourself.  Don't try to be anything you obviously aren't.

Mister Donut

He tastes as good as he looks, JSYK

So, thanks to my good friend Risa, I've developed a bit of an obsession.  Many of you who know me or have seen my facebook or Twitter posts might already know that I have fallen head-over-heels in love with the Japanese doughnut chain Mister Donut.  I feel like I annoy people with how much I talk about this place, so I feel like an explanation of my love is in order.

First, let me give you a brief history of my knowledge and relationship with Mister Donut.  When I first came to Japan in 2008, I heard some people talking about this place.  It seemed like nothing special, so I (STUPIDLY) never went during that time.  When I moved back here, my friend Risa and I went to the LaLaPort in Chiba.  It was there I first entered a Mister Donut store.  Surprisingly, we didn't have any donuts, since we had just eaten a delicious okonomiyaki meal.  We saw there was an appetizing drink selection, including a new item which was an icy fruit flavored "drink", but more like a sno-cone in a glass.  The line was long (a common trend in almost all Mister Donut stores I go to, since they're so damn GOOD), and while we were waiting, I had a good chance to stare longingly at the doughnuts.  They were perfectly made, had appetizing flavors, and some of them were just darn cute!!!  Risa was telling me about this one doughnut called a "pon de ring".  It basically looks like a doughnut ring made out of little balls.  She was telling me how it was different from a normal doughnut because of the texture.  I'll admit, I didn't quite believe her, having had many a doughnut in my time, but I was still intrigued.  I vowed to go to one and give this famous "pon de ring" a try (as well as eat and adorable teddy bear head!).

How glad I was to have given it a try.  Pon de rings are like nothing I've ever had before.  They have this unique soft texture that is just absolutely fantastic!!!  They come in a variety of flavors, and can be super cheap during Mister Donut's numerous sales.  In other words: if you ever come to Japan, it is your DUTY to try one of these!!!  Besides the pon de rings, the other doughnuts are delectable as well.  My favorites so far are the honey churro, strawberry ring, green tea bear head, and the chocolate french crullers.  They're all just so fantastically made with perfect presentation and cheap prices.  Every time I enter one, I get this rush of joy at all of the variety!!!

In addition to their wonderful selection, Mister Donut offers a point card system as well.  You can trade in these precious points for cool things that change every month or so.  I currently have 87 points and am hoping to save up enough for the coveted "Pon de Lion" plush toy!!!!  Agghhhh, I hope that some day, lovely readers, we can go forth together and partake in the utter joy that is Mister Donut.

DON'T YOU JUST WANNA EAT 'EM!?!?

The one in the bottom left corner is a Pon De Ring.  DELICIOUS!

Finally....

So, I know I haven't blogged in a longgggg time, but it's constantly been on my mind.  I want to update this as much for me as for everyone else.  I want this to remind me of where I've come from and what I've done.  Anyways....  This picture above was taken from one of my many excursions since I last posted.  Almost every single day since I've been here, I've gone out, with 90% of the time it being with friends.  It's addicting, and I kinda need to slow down, mainly for energy's and money's sake.  But if "hanging out with friends is taking up too much of my time" is my biggest problem, well, it's a good problem to have XD  I'm absolutely in a completely different place than when I started this blog.  Now that I'm settled in socially, I feel so much better.  Knowing that I'm not alone and that friends are just a phone-call away makes me feel so good.  Plus, I'm moving to a much bigger room (that's actually furnished!!!) at the end of the month.  AND it's just a floor below me!!!!  So yeah, I'm pretty much settled (still gotta straighten out my current room and get insurance).  I'm loving every day.

Well, since that was more of my personal feelings, let me put a from-memory list of some of the things I've done so far since I last posted:

1. Went to Sanrio Puroland, the Hello Kitty theme-park
2. Went to my favorite area of Tokyo, Kichijoji, TWICE in one week!!!!
3. Ate giant gyoza on one of those occasions
4. Racked up 75 points at Mister Donut, my favorite eating place EVER
5. Met Aimi's (the girl on the right in the pic above) dad and ate Okinawan food
6. Played with a bunch of puppies at a mall in Chiba with my friend Risa
7. Izakaya'd it up with my blog-spiration, Caroline Josephine
8. Stayed overnight at a karaoke place till the first train the next morning
9. Taught my first kids lessons with terrible results but unbearably cute children
10. Was disappointed by the Tokyo Game Show....  So not worth it :(
11. Embarrassed myself culturally and linguistically in front of many people
12. Had an uncontrollable laughing fit for 5 minutes at a curry restaurant
13. Learned the etiquette of a hot spring/bath house/went to a hot spring/bath house in Tokyo

So, yeah....  I've done a lot in the past 5 weeks.  I've also lost almost 20lbs ^_^  More detailed posts to come!!!  I've just gotta find my camera...

Getting Settled Part 2: Registration and More

No, not that kind of alien....

The first thing you need to do when you are moving to Japan for more than 90 days is register yourself as a resident alien.  To do this, you have to go to your city hall for your district and fill out some forms.  Luckily for me, back during my study abroad in 2008, my host mom was nice enough to take me to get registered.  But his time, I had to do it on my own.  For whatever reason, though, both times the city hall was way on the other side of my district for where I lived.  Thankfully there was a direct bus that took me there when I was with my host family.  But this time, I had little choice but to just walk there.

While I was worried about getting lost going there (since I didn't have a phone at the time) I enjoyed seeing the more residental side of my ward.  Along the way, I passed many metal workshops, which was quite intriguing.  It was also really sunny and hot, making me sweat like a pig every step of the way XD  But thankfully,  Google Maps in Japan is very accurate, so I got there with little trouble.

When I arrived, I was a little disoriented.  \I went to the information booth lady and she very kindly directed me to the photo booth where I could take my application pictures.  When I got there, there was this curtain and I couldn't tell if anyone was inside or not.  There were no lights or anything, either, so I was kind of standing there thinking it was broken.  But one of the men sitting at the desks behind me said, in very good English "Open the curtain!"  Blushing, I thanked him and opened up the curtain, and, like magic, the light turned on.

They NEED to get these machines in America!  They're super useful and much less expensive than going to Walgreens or whatever to get them done.  It was only 600円 for 5 pictures and the lighting is brighter making it flattering and evening out your skin-tone.  It even made unphotogenic me look halfway decent.

After that ordeal, I headed to the appropriate window to get my registration started.  I took my number and was almost immediately called.  The attendant, and older Japanese man, explained the form in mostly Japanese with a little English here and there. He was very patient with me and told me to come back after I filled out the form.  The form was pretty self-explanatory with both English and Japanese for each section.  I tried to write in Japanese the parts that I could (like my address.  Thankfully, the kanji for it are pretty basic), but the form was so small for huge, terrible handwriting, so by the end of it, it looked like a toddler with a broken arm had written on it.  I handed it in and was told to wait.

After clarifying a couple of errors I made (whoops!  I am a 外人 after all), I was finished.  But then I had to request this form saying I was in the process of registering so I could get my cell phone and bank account set up.  This form has the longest name EVER and I just typed in on my American iPhone (which took about ten minutes to do since it was so long) so that I wouldn't have to go through the linguistic decathlon of even beginning to pronounce it.  The word is 外国人登録原票記載事項証明書 which, in the roman alphabet, is "gaikokujintourokugenpyoukisaijikoushoumeisho".  But, needless to say, I got them.

After that was done, there was nothing really else I had to do to prepare for work, so I've been spending the past two days with two fellow Americans who are going to be teaching with me.  It's been awesome hanging out with them and actually having some IRL social time.  We hit up Takadanobaba, Shinjuku, Akihabara, Harajuku, and Shibuya so far.  I love how laid back they are and how helpful they've been.  One of them directed me to a gem of a resource: an English speaking Softbank store near Harajuku!  I got my white iPhone and have been kind of messing with it (and kind of messed it up already :'(  ) since.  I feel a bit better about my living situation, but it's more in the fact that I'm determined to get out of it XD  I talked to the other English teacher in my guest house who has been living there for three months and his room is in the same state as mine due to the lack of space as well.  Soooooo, we'll see.

Tomorrow I start work, which ends my 3 and a half weeks of funemployment and begins my professional career.  Yikes.


Does anyone here have any interesting alien registration stories?  Any requests from anyone about blog topics you wanna see???

Getting Settled Part 1: Moving In

My roommates

Well, the past couple of days have been a whirlwind of "getting settled" (thought I feel not settled at all -__-;).  I guess I'll start from the beginning!!!

I arrived at about 2pm on Monday, September 12th.  As soon as I got off the plane, I speed-walked as politely as I could to get to customs and immigration quickly, as the last time I arrived, it was about a 45 minute or more wait.  Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly, I guess, since the flight date was September 11th), the line was quite short and I made it through.  I then waited for my two overweight bags and anxiously anticipated my final check-point through a supposedly-bag-checking customs agent.  I got them, took a deep breath, and breezed past the point.  From then on, I knew I was in!!!  I used ANA's Sky Porter to have my two bursting bags sent to my guest house.  The attendant didn't know much English, but we muddled through it together.  He was very patient with me, which I ALWAYS appreciate.  And, since I was a mileage card holder, I think I got a reduced rate, which is always a bonus!  I then headed for the train platform to meet up with my housing agent.

I met the super friendly and helpful housing agent at my main train station.  I was immediately excited because my area looked (and is) really cool and vibrant.  We chatted a bit while we walked to the place, knowing it was a straight shot from the station since I Google Street Viewed it about a million times.  I was full of hope and ready to start off right!!!  Now, when I was told I was going to be living in what the Japanese call a "guest house", I was picturing something more along the lines of a dorm: communal spaces, semi-furnished room, etc.  Well, while that's the case with many places, I was not fortunate enough to have gotten that privilege.  We walked to the building (which was actually the one to the left of the one Google Street View showed me) and climbed the stairs to the 4th floor.  With each passing step, the stairs got narrower and steeper.  My first thought was how much of a pain it was going to be to have to carry my 140lbs worth of luggage up there, unassisted (thankfully the nice porter who delivered them for me took on that challenge).  I soon realized this wasn't going to be a dorm-like situation.  We finally reached the 4th floor which opens up to a balcony.  It seemed very nice and quaint.  But then, we got to my actual guest house.  To describe it best, it would have to be like a 4 roomed apartment with each room gutted and rented out separately.  But this is not a "Western" apartment.  This is a Tokyo apartment.  First walking in, I immediately saw the kitchen.  I was really looking forward to cooking a lot while I'm here, but the standing area in the kitchen allowed for one to merely pivot while cooking something.  Oh well, I thought, I can deal,  Then, we came to my room.  It took him a bit to get the lock undone, but when he finally opened the door, I died a little inside.

While I don't have a tape measure to actually give a proper size, I'd estimate that it's 8ftx8ft (or 4.5 tatami mats, as advertised on their website).  The only furnishings it had were a very nice refrigerator with a freezer, a pointless and space consuming coat rail that I instantly hated, a box containing my futon I was promised, and "sofa bed".  I was horrified.  While the "sofa bed" (a thick mattress that can be laid flat like a bed or folded into different positions like a sofa) is surprisingly cool, I have no shelves, no dressers, no closets, no storage space whatsoever.  I have no way of unpacking as I have nowhere to put anything.  My room is a total disaster right now with a bleak foreseeable future. 

Let me put this into perspective.  I'm really happy and grateful to have a place in Tokyo and to just be in Tokyo in general.  But I do not think I can live her any longer than I have to.  It feels like a prison cell.  I've talked to a lot of my friends and family and they keep saying "Oh, well, spruce it up and make it homey!" but there is absolutely no way right now to do that.  I'll have to invest in some sort of dresser for sure and I really really need a desk.  My back is dying from the awkward positions I've sat in to use the computer.  Gahhh, how desperately do I need Wal-Mart in Japan.

I'm actively seeking new living quarters right now.  I am desperately pleading for my friends living in Japan to give me some sort of advice on what to do.  I have a contract to the end of the year.  Save me ;o;

Journey to Here

From meeting other people my age who are interested in Japan, I tend to find a common starting point: Sailor Moon. From watching Sailor Moon as a young child, a subliminal attraction to Japan grew within me. The colors the shapes the sounds and the magic tantalized my young, curious mind. Of course, this interest grew with the introduction of more shows and even more video games from the land of the rising sun.

After some weird years in middle school and high school, college came, and with it the opportunity to decide what I want to do with my life.  It was also my first opportunity to study Japanese. I went to a smallish liberal arts Jesuit school in Seattle. While I had a variety of majors (computer science and international business being the two majors I opted out of due to lack of aptitude/interest), studying Japanese was a constant through my education, starting my very first quarter of school.

This lead me to decide to study abroad at a sister Jesuit school in Tokyo, Sophia University (上智大学), for one semester. I was there for four months and cherished every moment of it (well, the moments not in class....), living with a real Japanese host family, joining a real Japanese school club, and going to real Japanese places. But it was not all sushi and Pokemon. There were definitely some undesirable aspects. But overall, this time was one of the greatest in my life where I've made the best friends anyone could ask for.

During my time between returning from study abroad and the end of my college career, I attempted several times to return, but lack of funds ultimately cut that dream short. I finished undergrad, ending up with a double major in International Studies and Asian Studies with a focus on Japan. Buttttttt, there's not much of a market for that sort of thing. So from January 2011 to August, I worked an entry level job that wasn't going anywhere for me. I was planning on saving up to go to language school, but I couldn't survive the separation from Japan that long, so I followed the footsteps of many a college grad and turned to the English teaching option to get me over there FAST. So now, here I am, three days before my initial training and starting my blog.

Now I'm going talk about what I want this blog to be. First, the explanation of the play-on-words title. The Japanese characters read NI-HON-SHIN. The first two characters together mean "Japan". The last two characters together mean "true feelings". So, the purpose of this blog is to share my true feelings on Japan -everything from the positive to the negative. These are my own personal opinions are they will probably contain some factual errors and irrational thinking. You are free to disagree to me (in fact, I'd like some discussion!).

This blog will also mostly be just a synopsis of my daily life as I live out my days in Tokyo.

I also want this to be a positive-minded resource for anyone who aspires to come to Japan to live, work, or study.  Many websites for Westerners interested in coming to Japan are usually full of bitter expats who want to keep out as much competition as possible.  This will be a positive space for those seeking advice.  The main reason I was able to get where I am now was through networking, so I want to give others that opportunity as well.

Enjoy!!!!


Special thanks to:
-Caroline Josephine for inspiring me through her blog. It motivated me to get over here as well as write this blog!!! She's an amazing writer and a true friend!!!
-my friend Emie for coming up with the name.
-my friend Julie for pushing me towards Japan and being one of my bestest friends and giving me tons of great blog ideas.
-oh, and to my parents, I guess.............. <3